Psychological Abuse at Work: How to Recognize it and What To Do

People are supposed to act professionally towards customers, managers, and co-workers on the job. The sad truth, however, is that abusive people show up in every segment of life from church to work to the local PTA group. Being the target of someone else’s psychological abuse at work can be especially traumatic because you spend so much time there. You may also be in a financial situation that prevents you from leaving if you felt that was best.

Maybe you don’t recognize abusive behavior when it’s directed at you. Or, maybe you feel extremely uncomfortable and aren’t sure what to do about it. It can be hard to feel empowered at work when you feel like you’re the target of psychological abuse. Rather than just grin and bear it, here’s how you can identify and address it.

Psychological Abuse on the Job Can Be Exceptionally Challenging to Identify

Most people understand verbal abuse as one person screaming at someone else or putting them down with insults. Psychological abuse can be much more subtle. It can be so subtle, in fact, that the abusive person doesn’t even have to say anything to get intimidate their victim. Here are some clues that you may be the victim of psychological abuse on the job.

• The abusive person deliberately intimidates or humiliates you in front of others with words, hand gestures, or facial expressions. Deliberately withholding information you need to do your job and then blaming you when you make a mistake is another common form of on-the-job psychological abuse.
• The abusive co-worker or superior attempts to intimidate you by kicking objects, throwing things across the room, or stomping his or her fist on a table right in front of you. Although the behavior involves physical actions, it still meets the definition of psychological abuse because the abuser didn’t aim his or her actions at you directly.
• Sometimes an imbalance of power, such as a manager and subordinate relationship, brings out abusive behavior. Instead of using authority in a helpful manner, the abuser wields his or her authority in a manner meant to demonstrate superiority or demean, manipulate, or control you.

Keep in mind that abusive behavior like this is intentional. Abusive people tend to take advantage of situations that give them an opportunity to demonstrate their control over others. Remember, too, that you belong there and no one has the right to make you feel inferior.

What to Do About Psychological Abuse at Work

The next time someone treats you in an abusive way, write down what makes you uncomfortable. Include what they said or did, as well as the date and time. If the workplace bully asks what you’re doing, state that you don’t appreciate the behavior and will report it to HR if it continues. Although you should expect some pushback, you don’t have to respond to it. Should the behavior continue, make good on your word to speak to HR about it.

Unfortunately, companies sometimes turn a blind eye and allow abusive people to continue their behavior without consequences. If that happens, you might consider speaking to an employment lawyer about suing for damages from a hostile work environment. If you need extra support, you can also consider discussing your feelings with a licensed therapist or counselor.

Here are some other resources that can help you with this struggle.

• Workplace Bullying Institute
• Workers’ Rights Regarding Verbal Abuse
• Healthy Place: Dealing with Verbal Abuse at Work